Already Gone
by tristenandclive
Summary: if there's one thing you wish you never did, what is it? if there's something that you wish to have,what would it be?Love is difficult.even the most in love couples fight,break up,and sometimes never try again.fixing a relationship is like picking up broken glass,you'll bleed but in the end you'll be glad that you never left it to hurt somebody else. Robsten. Rob/Kristen. No Hate.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone! The past few weeks were hard. I've never felt such heartbreak over the "scandal". I don't know why, but I think the media is feeding us BS and they won't tell us what really happened. I still believe in Rob and Kristen. I'm still their fan. I still believe in the Robsten love. Something that special shouldn't go to waste because of one stupid mistake.

This story has been circulating my mind since the thing came up so I apologize if I haven't updated my other story(assuming that you are reading it). So I'm sorry about that. and if there are a lot of mistakes, I'm sorry I wrote this at 1 am.

Disclaimer: I do not know these people personally; it is just a work of fiction.

"What are these?" I asked her as she walked through our bedroom door. She stopped on her track once she saw what I am holding. These fucking photos that had just ruined me and shattered my heart. "what are these?" I asked her again, my voice louder than before indicating that I was angry.

"Rob….. I can explain.." She said. Her voice was shaking and tears were flowing from her eyes. She stepped closer to me and sat on the floor in front of me. From where I was sitting at the edge of our bed, I can see her hands shaking, something that she only does when she's nervous or afraid.

"Why?" I asked, feeling the tears escaping my eyes. Fuck, I am a man. I do not cry! But it hurts so much. This girl that I had love for almost 4 years of my life betrayed me. this girl whom I have given my whole heart and life broke my heart. "I love you so much. I gave you everything! Why did you do this?"

"I…I d-don't.. know." her tears continued to flow. It breaks my heart to see her like this. It's hurting me to see her hurt too. "He w-was doing those… things, I didn't know what to do." She explained. She was looking at her fingers, not meeting my eyes.

"Bullshit!" I screamed, standing from my previous position. I threw the offensive photos across the room. I took hold of her arm and pulled her, making her stand against me. "You fucking enjoyed it! You let him touch you! you did it on purpose!" I said into her face. All I'm seeing now is red. Anger. Heartbreak. Disappointment. I gripped her arms tightly, making her look directly at me.

"I didn't I didn't know what I was thinking. I didn't know how to escape!" she screamed back. She continued on crying as I gripped her more tightly. "Rob….R-Rob… you're hurting me. please, stop." She pleaded. I did something I thought I'd never do, I physically hurt her. But then again, she did something I thought she would never do, she cheated on me. I let her go making her stumble to the floor.

"I can't do this anymore." I said. "I trusted you. I love you so much. I gave you everything. I can't understand why you did this. I can't….." my sobs stopped me. It was too much. It hurts too much. "I cannot forgive you."

"No. Please don't say that." she said.

"Kris….."

"You do not mean that!" she screamed as she pulled her hair. "You do not mean that!" she moved closer. I stood frozen on my feet when she hug my waist tightly. "Please. Don't leave me. I love you so much. You can't leave me!" she said.

"you should have thought of that before you did this!" I told her. I can't find the strength to put my arms around her. I do not want to be near her right now. I want to be alone. "you should have thought of me. our life. Our love. But you didn't. I cannot forgive that."

"NO!" she protested. "I love you. I love you so much."

I forcefully yanked her arms from around my waist. I held them on her sides to prevent her from hugging me again.

"This is over Kristen!" I made sure she heard me. she tried to free her arms but she cannot."We are fucking over!" I said louder. And with that, she stopped fighting against me and just looked at me through those green eyes that are full of tears at this moment. I looked at her eyes, trying to memorize how they looked. This may be the last time I'll see them, it sucks that they do not sparkle anymore. Nothing's the same anymore.

"Leave." I said softly. "please leave."

Her sobs got louder as she turned around and walked to our closet to get her things. I just sat on the edge of the bed, listening as she cried, listening as she shoved her clothes – everything- inside the suitcase. Hearing the click when her suitcase closed made everything so final. Like it is really the end. She finally walked out of the closet and went to the bathroom, gathering her things in there too. I sat unmoving, I just watched as she moved from corner to corner packing her things. Once she was done, she stopped and look at me as if to plead for me to change my mind. I didn't say anything. She just walked out of the room.

I faintly heard her talking to Bear, saying "Be a good boy for daddy okay. Mommy's not gonna be here anymore. Mommy did something stupid. I'll miss you, Bear." Ican almost picture it in my head how she hugged him and cooed to him.

I heard the front door click, and soon an engine starting. I felt numb. I felt dead. The house was so quiet. It hurts to think that this house that was once full of giggles, banters and laughter is now empty and sad. Completely silent.

I finally stood up and walked to the closet to change my clothes. I was met with loneliness when I saw the vacant spaces where her clothes used to be. I felt a stab on my heart. The tears are stinging my eyes. And then I broke down again, in the middle of this silent room with my realization.

She's gone.

I've made my decision.

Now, she's gone.

Okayyyyyyyy. So thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

I'd love to hear from you.

Don't judge me for what I have written. You are entitled to your own opinion but make sure it's within being human. Don't be a hypocrite. Don't insult. DON'T HATE.


	2. Chapter 2

HI! So thank you for your reviews and support. I was afraid I would be getting hate but thankfully no one sent me death threats. I told you I'd be continuing so here's the next one. I hope you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I do not know these people personally; it is just a work of fiction.

"What do you mean she's leaving?" I asked Tom. He just told me that Kristen is leaving. To where? For how long? But it's our premiere tonight. She can't do this. We owe this to our fans. She just can't leave.

"Exactly that. She's going to leave." He answered as he sat on my couch. It's been 3 months since we broke up. She was calling me nonstop in the first few weeks but when she realized that I don't want to talk to her, she stopped calling. I don't want to hear her explanation. There's nothing else to talk about.

"Where is she going?" I asked.

"She didn't tell me."

"Why is she going to leave? For how long?" I am curios. Why is she doing this? This is not like her.

"I don't know. But she said she might stay there, leave Hollywood altogether." Tom answered as he took a sip of his coffee.

"What?" I was surprised. "Why would she do that? She loves making movies!"

"She said she doesn't want to live this life anymore. She wants a normal life." Tom looked intently into my eyes as if telling me that I should talk to her myself. Everything still hurts. I should let her do whatever she wants and I'll do what I want so that nobody gets hurt.

"Normal life?" I said. "Let her do whatever she wants, I don't care anymore."

"Rob, are you sure about this?" tom asked.

"yes." I answered, emotionless. "I should get ready for the premiere." I stood up and walked to my bedroom.

"Okay. Sienna is looking for me, I should head home. Talk to you later. Bye."

I was met with loud screams of the fans when I stepped out of the car. it was just like before, but the difference is I will not be going to hold her in my arms tonight. That changed. We both changed.

I walked along the red carpet, stopping every once in a while to take pictures. I approached the line of fans, and signed for them.

"Rob, I love you!" one fan screamed as I walked closer to her. "Kristen's a bitch for cheating on you." I flinched. What kind of fan is this? I wanted to punch her. But instead of doing that, I just ignored her and continued on signing for the fans.

"Rob, have you seen Kristen?" another fan asked. Isn't Kristen here? did she leave already? "She's so pretty. Oh my gosh. I'm going to die. I love you, I love you. please get back together!" she said as she cried in front of me. Kristen's here. i just smiled at the fan and left.

I walked a couple of meters and saw her. She looks stunning. Beautiful. It sucks that she is not mine anymore. I walked towards her, noticing that Taylor's already there, posing beside her. I approached them a stood beside Kristen. She looked towards me with a gorgeous smile. She seemed happy. Maybe she has moved on, while I am still stuck here. Still hurting and trying to forget her. After a second, she looked back at the cameras. I wrapped my right arm around her, posing with her and Taylor. After a few minutes, we were ushered inside the theater.

I took a long last look on her. If this is the last time I'll see her, I might as well commit her beauty to my memory. She's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

"hey." I hear her faint voice call to me. she leaned against the wall beside me as we both cradled beers in our hands.

"hey." I responded.

"How are you?" she asked. She sounds nervous. Unlike what she showed to the press earlier, it was obvious she wasn't happy. Well, it's her fault. I shouldn't feel bad for her. She did this to us.

"I've been better." I said. "you?"

"Miserable. Sorry. Depressed." She said as she drank more.

"Really? You were all smiles earlier." I pointed out. She's miserable. Her fault. She's sorry. I don't care anymore. she can do whatever she wants.

"I figured out that since I am leaving, I should leave everyone smiles and everything." She answered.

"So it's true? You're leaving?" I asked.

She looked straight at me and just nodded. Her eyes were a little glassy, as if she wanted to cry. She bit her trembling lower lip, preventing herself from sobbing.

"Yes." She said.

I felt a sudden pinch in my heart. It was almost as if someone is squeezing it, letting me bleed to death. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for everything that's lost. Our love and our future. We're not for each other anymore.

"Why are you doing this?" I took a sip of my beer, getting ready for whatever she's going to say.

"I want to start anew. I want to live again. Away from the lights and camera, I want to study. I want to leave, to be far away from you and let you be happy." She murmured. "I love you so much that I'm willing to give up all of this for your happiness."

Anew. She's going to start her life again. Without me. what am I doing? I shouldn't care anymore. she cheated on me. she doesn't deserve my forgiveness. I shouldn't even talk to her.

"Well good for you." I said. I started walking towards the door back to the rest of the party but her voice stopped me in my track.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she shouted at me. "why don't you just listen to me?"

I turned around to face her and let her continue.

"just let me explain! Why won't you talk to me?" she cried. Her make-up is running, and her green eyes pleading.

"There's nothing to talk about. We're done the moment you did what you did!" I answered back. "you hurt me! You did this to us."

"I love you. Please forgive me." she tried to hold me but I stepped away from her.

"I can't."

"Please, Rob. If you still want to fix this, please….please come to the airport tomorrow. Tell me not to go. Tell me you still love me and we're going to fix this. Just please, I love you so much. I want you to tell me those things." She cried even more. She's hugging herself like she's preventing herself from falling apart.

Can I do that? can I tell her that I still love her and make her stay? Can I still hold her in my arms without the memory of how he wrapped his arms around her too? can I kiss her without feeling the hurt she inflicted on me?

I looked at her.

I looked at her face and how she cried.

I miss her smiles. The ones that she reserved for me.

I miss the way we laugh.

I miss the way we sleep. My nights had been so lonely without her.

I miss the way she kisses me, hugs me, and holds my hand.

I miss her.

I miss her like I've never missed her before.

Everything hurts so much. I know what to do know.

"I can't. I can't tell you that." I turned around to leave, hearing her cry and say sorry and I love you over and over again.

Thank you for the reviews, alerts and favorites for this story. I love you all.

I'd like to hear from you. suggestions? Comments? Reactions?

Don't judge me for what I have written. You are entitled to your own opinion but make sure it's within being human. Don't be a hypocrite. Don't insult. DON'T HATE.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! I am so sorry for the very, Very late update. I am just so busy with school, I never knew that my degree would be this hard. I also apologize if this chapter won't be up to your expectations, I'm just so stressed and I didn't know what to write. There were just so many ideas floating in my head that I didn't know what I should go for. But anyways, I'm glad the Robsten thingy is actually getting calm right now. **

**Oh, and I saw a big Bella/ Edward picture at a local mall here, and I ran (like literally ran) towards it. A fangirl is never ashamed. The picture is huge….. like really.**

**Again I don't know them personally. This is a work of fiction.**

Never in my life had I thought that I will be doing this. Chase someone. But now, here I am, in a foreign country looking for something I had lost two years ago –my heart. I think of what will happen later. What will happen in my future because of this trip that I had taken? I am happy to say that now, at least I had the courage to do this. I have the courage to look for her, something I didn't have that night in LA when I asked her to leave the house. I didn't have the courage to fight for us and listen to whatever she had to say. I just let her go, and look where it led me – in a car, looking at the road ahead me, and hopeful that I will have her in my arms again.

"Where are you Rob?" Tom asked me on the phone. He's in London right now.

"Going to her place." I said. I don't care about anyone's reaction. I just want to see her as soon as possible.

"are you insane?" he screamed at me. it's not like he was not expecting me to do this. The moment I knew that Tom has been keeping in contact with her, I had threatened his life to make him give me her address. I also remember telling him that I would kill myself if he refuses to give it to me. yeah. I'm that desperate.

"No." I said. "I'm a stupid guy who's still madly in love with his ex. Are you stasfied with that description of myself?"

"Rob are you sure?" he's got a lot of questions today.

"Yes, I am" I said through my clenched teeth. Why is everybody so against this?

"She's been through a lot Rob. I know you love her but she left because she wanted you to be happy. She wanted to be happy too. she sacrificed because she felt like it would never be the same, that you won't feel the same about her. She's afraid that she hurt you too much." Tom said. "I actually asked her what if you showed up one day in front of her door and she just told me that the both of you had been hurt enough for a lifetime. She wants to move on."

"then we'll move on with each other." I countered. "I know I can't take back anything I said in the past, but I'm beyond sorry. I want her. I need her."

"Rob…" Tom continued.

"nothing you say will stop me." I said firmly. "I'm determined to fix this. I'm not leaving this place without her."

"I'm calling your mom. Maybe she'll know what to say." And with that he ended the call.

I know my mom wouldn't call me. She understands why I am doing this. She even urged me to go find her. She said that no matter what happens today, at least I tried.

But I am afraid of what will happen today. Will she take me back? Does she still love me?

What if there's someone else? What if that someone else had already fixed the holes and scratches I've inflicted on her heart?

What if she's happy without me?

I am far from happy.

I am still hopelessly in love with her. After everything, after all this time, it's still her.

Yes, I have tried dating but none of them made me feel like she did. That feeling when you'll get chills and sparks every time you touch the one you cherish, I only felt her with her. None of my relationships with them worked out. I only dated each of them for a week or two. I just kept on comparing them to her.

Everything in my life since that night when I last saw her seems like a mess. It was like everything is wrong. My world just crashed when she left. It was not the same anymore.

I need her back. I need her so badly that another day without her would kill me.

I remember the first day that I realized that I wanted her back. It was that Christmas. I was so drunk that the next day, I thought everything was a dream. I actually started looking for her around the house. When I realized that she's not there, I broke down. I was wrong for letting her go.

New year's Eve came and I found myself having dinner with my friends. Tom, Sienna with little Marlowe were there as well as our close friends. I looked at them as they chatted happily and played with Marlowe. I was jealous. I was insanely jealous that they have their significant ones with them while I'm sitting all alone thinking what if I did things differently. When the clock strike 12 I just closed my eyes and remembered how her lips felt when we kissed the previous New Year's Eve. I thought of how her voice sounded when she whispered that she loves me that night. I promised her forever.

I wanted to fulfill that promise. I want to be her forever because I'm certain that she's mine.

I stood outside her door for a few minutes, staring at her door. What am I going to say? Will she still look the same? I bet she's even more gorgeous now.

I gathered my strength and knocked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

I stood there and waited. I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. I heard as someone held the door knob and turned it.

This is it.

The door opened.

My heart started beating again. I am alive once more.

**Okayyyyy. I'm really sorry if I sucked. I'll try to do better next time. Oh, and how long do you want this story to be? 5 chapters only? or 7? Let me know! And thank you so much for all the reviews and alerts and faves for this story.**

**Again, are there questions? Suggestions? Comments? Reactions?**

**Don't judge me for what I have written. You are entitled to your own opinion but make sure it's within being human. Don't be a hypocrite. Don't insult. DON'T HATE.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favorites for this story. I love you all so much. I didn't know what to do with this chapter so sorry if you won't like it or if it sucks. There are just too many possibilities and scenarios for this story that I find it hard to choose which one I should do. And I'm sorry if it's late, but I assure you I'll still update even though it's late(for the next chapters).**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry if this sucks.**

**Again I don't know them personally. This is a work of fiction.**

"Rob? What are you doing here?" I heard her voice after a few seconds of silence, of us just staring into each other's eyes. It was as if we were asking each other silent questions.

_Why?_

_How did you find me?_

_Do you still love me?_

_I love you so much._

"I want to talk to you." I said. My voice was barely a whisper. I honestly don't know what to say. Now that I have seen her, all the plans that I might have had when I was driving a while ago were all gone now.

She thought for a moment. All that while I studied her face again. God, it has been so long since I've seen her. The pictures I kept with me didn't do her justice at all. Her brown hair looks longer than before. Way longer. It was now cascading down to her waist. Her green eyes was still as captivating a before. One thing I noticed was that the spark I used to see in her eyes was no longer there. Her lips look more kissable. I would do anything to be able to kiss her again. Her body has filled in the right places, she's not as skinny as the last time I saw her. She's even more gorgeous now. She's definitely a woman now.

"Please, Kristen." I spoke again. "Just talk to me."

Her eyes met mine again. I saw sadness in them. I know my eyes look the same. Sad. Empty. I knew we both made mistakes, and that's why I'm here. I want to fix everything, start over again. We can never be happy with someone else. We are made for each other.

"Come in." she softly answered. She opened the door wider to let me in. she turned on her heels and walked towards her living room. I looked around her home. There were a few pictures adorning her wall. Some of her family while others are people I don't know. I even saw a picture of a guy hugging her and kissing her forehead. That photo made me feel like someone stabbed me in the heart and twisted the knife a hundred times. Can someone die from a broken heart? I am sure dying here. What if there's someone else? What would I do? Just give up?

Her living room definitely suites her style. It was not to girly but still chic. There's a white couch in the center of the room. Behind it is a wall of glass in which you can see the backyard. There were several decorations but not too much to make the room small or claustrophobic. If she decides to love me again, this will be my home.

She motioned me to sit down on the couch. I did what I was told to and made myself comfortable.

"do you want something to drink?" she asked. I could tell that she's uncomfortable with me being here. This is awkward. Fuck. Why does this have to be like this? I would want nothing more but to hug here, and kiss her, and make love to her.

"No. I'm fine." I answered.

She sat on the armchair to my right, seemingly deciding that it was the perfect distance to be at than sit beside me. She looked at me. She's waiting for me to start.

"So," I said. I don't fucking know what to say, "How's life?"

"Fine so far. My life has been much quieter than before." She answered. "you?"

"I guess I'm fine.", _But I would be better if I'm with you_, I wanted to add but I am afraid that she might freak out.

"Why are you here Rob?" she asked impatiently.

Alright.

This is it.

"I want you back." I said firmly. I want her to hear it. I want her to know that I am serious.

"What the fuck Rob?" she screeched at me. "Why now?"

"I love you! I'm so sorry about what happened between us. I shouldn't have let you go." I explained. My eyes are brimming with tears. Fuck, I'm going to cry.

"Rob…" she muttered.

"I want you back baby. I did those things before because I was just so hurt."

"And you think I wasn't hurt? Do you think it's that easy? Rob you don't know what I've been through all these years, you weren't there to see me crying over you every night. Now that I've finally accepted that we'll never be together, you just showed up unannounced and tell me these things."

"I'm sorry! I am so sorry. I shouldn't have made you leave. But you have to understand that I just can't believe that you did that to us. I thought that we were strong. I thought that we never have to go through those things. I thought you loved me then you did that. I almost died Kristen when I knew about it" I looked into her eyes. I'm desperately trying to make her see my point.

"You don't know anything." She said through her gritted teeth. "You don't know that I was pressured to do it. I never meant to do that. But he was pressuring me. He was forcing himself on me."

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He pressured her. He forced himself on her.

I should've listened to her. I should've talked to her. I should've let her explain.

"You don't know how much it hurt me that you, out of all the people I love, was the first one to judge me. You didn't even let me explain. I wanted you to hear me out, but instead, you kept on ignoring me. You made me leave. You left me when I needed you most." She cried. "I hated myself. I hated myself because of what I did to you. I was willing to give up everything for another chance Rob. But you made it clear that it will never happen. It fucking hurts Rob. I'm still hurting because every day I wake up and still think of you. I hate it that I still love you."

She still loves me.

I still love her.

I'll do everything to make it happen again.

I walked over to her. I kneeled in front of her and I took her hand. I felt the spark. It was still the same. She's still the one. I kissed her knuckles and mumbled "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot, I'm a jerk. I'm so stupid. I love you. I still love you. Please…. Let's try again."

"I don't know if I can." She whispered.

"Why? Is there someone else?" I asked, hoping that there was none.

"No. I'll never love someone else as much as I love you." I breathed a sigh of relief. She's all mine.

"Then why?"

"I am afraid. I left because I wanted to be happy. I wanted you to be happy too. I don't want to hurt more. I just want to move on."

"No. I want you. I love you Kristen. Please, let's give this another chance." I begged. I took her face between my hands and made her look into my tearful eyes. I looked intently into hers.

I want her to know that I'm hers. She still holds my heart. I am nothing without her. She's my one and only true love. I'll never find someone I'll love as much as I love her.

She cried more.

"Don't be afraid." I told her. "I love you, you love me. It's more than enough for now. We're going to fix everything."

She remained silent. All I can hear from her were her breaths coming from her mouth. I want to kiss her. I will kiss her.

"I love you." I whispered as I pressed my lips against hers. This is fucking amazing. I felt some kind of electricity flow through my body as my lips touched hers. It was like an awakening for my body, urging my heart to beat again. Our kisses turned heated, we were just enjoying each other at this point, savoring this reunion.

After a minute we broke apart. Our tears both dried. We didn't say anything. We just looked at each other. She lifted her hands and touched my face. I leaned into her hand reveling in her warmth.

She loves me.

I love her so fucking much.

"When are you leaving Milan?" she asked me.

"I have a week." I said. "I want to spend it with you."

She closed her eyes as she thought deeply. She visibly swallowed and sighed. It was as if she's making the hardest decision of her life. She opened her eyes and said the words that would rebuild my life again.

"Stay with me." I've never smiled that big since everything that happen. She made me the happiest man alive right at this moment.

**So? Sorry if it sucked. Sorry if you didn't like it. I'll do better.**

**Again, are there questions? Suggestions? Comments? Reactions?**

**Don't judge me for what I have written. You are entitled to your own opinion but make sure it's within being human. Don't be a hypocrite. Don't insult. DON'T HATE.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay….. so I guess I owe everyone an apology now, huh? I'm very very very sorry for not updating for so long! I just had a very bad writer's block and was very busy with school. I had tons of exams(4 hour long essay type exams, mind you) and couldn't find time to write. I hope this is enough of an apology. Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: I don't know these people personally. This is just a product of my imagination, a fiction. **

**P.S. YAY KRISTEN'S POV**

KPOV

Am I doing the right thing?

Am I being reckless for letting him in, for letting him into my life again?

It has been a couple of hours since he arrived here. I was very shocked when I saw him standing outside my door, it's been 2 years. It's been two years since I've seen him with my tears making my sight blurry and making it harder for me to memorize his face for the very last time. I asked him to come see me the next day, I wanted him to talk to me and tell me that he forgives me and that he still loves me despite of what I did. I never wanted to go; all I ever wanted was to be with him.

But I guess it's not what he wanted at that time. He didn't come to keep me from going. He didn't tell me that he forgives me or that he still loves me. Instead, I left LA with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes.

Well, it was entirely my fault really. It was me who made that mistake. It was me who was weak and gave in to pressure. I guess I was scared. But maybe it was a way for me to find myself, coming here, to Milan, has given me the fresh start that I wanted. It made me feel normal despite to the few and far between encounters with people who recognize me.

In here, I was at peace. I was free. I was normal. And best of all, I was happy even though I lost everything. I was finally learning who I am. I was not the girl that I thought I was. I am not that strong. In fact, I've learned how weak and vulnerable I am. At first I was afraid to change, I was scared to lose who I was, the girl that Rob fell in love with. But I needed to change to be able to move on with my life, so that's what I did.

This morning when I saw him standing in my doorway was one of the most life changing moments that I have ever had. It was like everything came crashing back to me – all the memories that I was trying so hard to put in the back of my mind, the feelings that I thought will never be revisited again, and worst of all, I still felt the pain of being away from him. Well they never really go away, I was just getting better at hiding them and ignoring them. I was in that point of my life that when I think I could finally move on. But seeing him today changed my life again, turned it upside down. And like never before, I feel scared and uneasy being in the same room with him.

So why the hell did I invite him to stay over? To be with me?

Oh right, because I'm still in love with him. Probably too in love with him that I let myself be with him even if I'm afraid that we'll hurt each other again. Feeling his kiss earlier made me madly in love with him again.

Is it worth a shot?

Is it worth it to place myself in that situation again in which I allow myself to be vulnerable just because I love him?

Regardless whether it's right or wrong, what's done is done. He's staying over here and I have to deal with it. He'll be here for a week, and I hope that it's enough for me to decide whether to continue this insanity or stop it before it explodes in our faces. I have a week, a week to be with him.

I peeked around the kitchen door to check on him. He was standing with his back facing me, his head slightly lifted. He's probably scanning the room or something, maybe even looking at the pictures that I hung there with the help of my brother when he visited me months ago. I just stared at him, at his back. I watched him as he looked at my things, the room, even the furnitures, probably trying to get to know me again, of who I became when I went here.

I went back to working on our dinner. I was preparing on of his favorites, my tortilla soup. I focused on what I was doing and let myself get lost in the task. I wanted to relax, and thankfully, cooking makes me relaxed.

Not an hour later, we were sitting in front of each other in my dining table. We didn't say anything, we just sat there, ate and was silent. I was not used to this silence. Even when we first met we were never this quiet with each other. We were always so loud and we enjoyed talking to each other. That seemed to be a different world now, so different to how we are now.

I cleared my throat, I wanted to talk. I wanted to break the silence for I can't take it anymore. "So…." I started.

"Hmmm?" he hummed.

Was I going to say anything at all? I can't think of anything right now, of any topic that might ease the tension between us.

"Do you have candles?" Rob asked, probably sensing the thick tension in the room right at this moment.

"Yes, I do. Why?" I said. Why would he need candles?

"Where are they?" he looked around the room.

"They are there, on the second drawer of that counter."

He stood up and began looking for it. He opened the cupboards and even the refrigerator. I was confused by his actions.

"Rob, I told you the candles are there." I told him again. I was getting a bit annoyed, honestly.

I saw him pull something out of the cupboards; I wasn't sure what it was. He then pull out a candle from where I told him they were. He opened the fridge and took a bottle of beer, opened it and poured its contents into the sink. He lit the candle.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to set my house on fire?"

"No! just sit there, wait and see" he smiled, looking back at me.

"Rob! Just blow the candle, come back here and continue eating!"

"No Kristen! I'm sure you'll love it, Babe!"

He walked to the other side of the room where the switch is. He flipped it, making the room dark with only the candle serving as our light. I could see his face; he is smiling as he approached the table again. He had to bottles in his hand – the beer bottle from earlier, and a wine bottle. He placed the beer bottle on the center of the table and put the candle in there. He made sure that it won't topple over and burn one of us.

"Rob?" my eyebrows burrowed, trying to understand what he is doing. "What are you-"

He cut me off, "Remember when we used to do this at home. When we have dinner at home, whether you cooked or we just ordered take out, we switch off the lights and use candles instead. We would imagine that we were having a candlelit dinner. You told me you want to do it because we never had the chance to because we would get recognized and hounded by paps."

"I remember…" I whispered.

"I'm glad. Those were the best meals of my life. It didn't matter if we were sitting at our dining table like this or if we were on the living room floor. I was happy 'cause I was with you." He gave me a soft smile. He never broke his stare at me. It made me feel like he really meant it.

"Thank you for this." I told him. I was getting teary eyed. Those nights made me happy too. I can never forget those.

"don't cry." He said as he reached for my hand over the table. He held my hand and squeezed it a little bit. "This is a happy evening, we're with each other." He encouraged as he gave me a smile.

"You got tears in your eyes." I teased him.

"No, I don't" he wiped his eyes as I giggled. It's nice to be able to joke and have fun with him now.

"Yeah, I saw you were going to cry."

"No, I wasn't!" he denied further. "I was just…" he paused for a moment "I don't know. Happy, I guess." He looked into my eyes again and said, "Are you?"

"I am" I answered truthfully. He leaned across the table to plant a chaste kiss on my lips. When he pulled back he just smiled. He never let go of my hand as he continued to eat his tortilla soup.

I can't help but stare at this man – this crazy man that I have loved so much. I am happier now that I am with him.

However, I'm still afraid. I truly hope that a week will be enough for me to figure it all out.

**So? What do you guys think? Would you like me to give some fanfic recs or anything next time?**

**Are there questions? Suggestions? Comments? Reactions?**

**Don't judge me for what I have written. You are entitled to your own opinion but make sure it's within being human. Don't be a hypocrite. Don't insult. DON'T HATE.**


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